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Reunion thing last night in nyc was at this bizarre club way down on the lower west side. It was a large L shaped room and had strange murals of 80s/90s pop icons like Pamela Anerdson a la Boobwatch in her safety red/orange bathingsuit, and Sharon Stone in her Basic Instinct whites. I didn't love it.

But the people. About 200 people or more showed up. I recognized many of them but couldn't recall their names and wasn't 100% sure if I ever knew them. My five closest female friends ever showed up and that was awesome. I haven't seen two of them in years. It felt surreal to be with them. It was too loud to really talk so we just bopped around. I had forgotten how much fun it was to stomp around to angry music in combat boots, though I was wearing a very nice tea length black and white dress with them and I used my ancient DK shirt (I've had since 1985.) At least three strangers said my ratty old disintegrating shirt was the best shirt ever. hahahahaha! The Dead Kennedys--sentimental favorites, of course!

I saw other old friends too. Many of them still have the same mohawks and the same style and that amazed me. I kind of loved them for staying true to it. Many people had gotten heavier (so not just me!) and we all looked older.

Only one creepy ex showed up. Holy crap he blew up like a marshmallow. And he glared at me and then ignored me. I feel sort of sad for him that he is still so bitter after 14 years. Indifferent would be fine, but bitter? Come on. We dated for less than a year. (But to be fair he had a thing for me for years. He asked me out repeatedly while I had the same boyfriend for four years, from when I was 16 til when I was 20. He knew I had a bf but he kept asking anyway. When I broke up with that bf, I couldn't think of a reason to say no anymore. I felt sorry for him and that is a crap basis for a relationship. But I should have said no. Ugh.) And today it rankles a bit. I am not entirely comfortable that I was in part responsible for this much animosity. I wish I'd been more with it when I was 20 and knew to follow my instincts. I wish I'd been stronger about being cool with just being alone instead of always having a bf. And I wish to hell I'd just broken it off with him instead of letting him get all wound up like he did and then watching him self destruct over it. I really was just clueless. Bad katie!

So whatever. David had a good time. He was a peach. I love him to little shiny david shaped bits. I am so glad I finally was lucky enough and smart enough to find a good guy.

The one thing that struck me forcibly is how supericial that crowd always was and still is, at least as a group. No one asked me what I was studying or anything like that. It is all about how you look and what music you listen to. Just like being 16 again. It didn't occur to me until I went to New Mexico to go to St. John's that most of that crowd only knew me as a DJ and someone who went out dancing and wore crazy shoes. I was the girl with pink hair, not the girl who reads Tolstoy. I kind of marvelled that I'd been spending that much time with people who didn't read or didn't want to talk about books. A few of them did, but most of them? No. It was like this enormous hidden part of my life...

David and I were talking about this at breakfast today. Even strangers I meet are more interested in what I am writing about and what I am reading. O_o When David tells coworkers that his wife is in the MFA program at SLC they ask all sorts of questions. But to be fair, they aren't in a very loud club with KMFDM blaring so loudly one can't hear oneself speak, never mind anyone else.

So all in all--I had a lot of fun. My old boots were very stiff and I was really glad to shuck them off as soon as we got into the car. And the bra I was wearing was like a strapless bustier, and it was digging into me and boy was I glad to rip that sucker off up on 45th and 8th--again in the car. And furtively underneath a tee shirt... I did not flash the garbage men next to us and they should be damn grateful!
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April 2011

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