Run mad as often as you chuse, but do not faint!

[ari_o]

I am thinking about posting in this dusty journal again. I sort of miss it. I feel uninhibited here. I could jump on a chair and take off all my clothes, jump down and roll around in chocolate and attack people. In the other journal? Not so much. My mother in law reads it sometimes.

Here, it is just me and some little birds. I can swear. I can vent. I can make mudpies and eat them. Over there? I don't know who I am?!

This is all a larger part of finding myself as a married woman. Who am I? Not exactly sure. I read that it is common for women to be a little lost, or feel a little lost during the start of their marriages. Because you aren't just you anymore. You are you and you are us.

I love my husband. I love being married. But I have moments of, "How did I get here?" and "Who am I?" and also "OMG! Eeek! I'm married." It doesn't last. I think it is part of the process of mourning my single self and the person I was before last August.

So anyway, on another topic. A time wasting topic.

steelcage_match needs you! Opponents (be they animal, mineral, or vegetable) pitted against each other in a steel cage! VOTE! VOTE!

I should be writing my thesis now and what an I doing? Pitting pointillism against cubism and watching the Food Network. Novel shmovel.

Comments

[ashenmote.livejournal.com]

This is not my beautiful house!

I'm surprised being married makes such a big difference. I shouldn't be because I heard it before, but I am. Probably it should make such a big difference, but it still surprises me.

*chirps*

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

Hello birdy!

Well, I think it doesn't make much of a difference for some people, and for others it does. YMMV. :D

It isn't bad or good, it is a transition. And transitions are usually a little hard. For me anyway.

[eibbil-libbie.livejournal.com]

I could jump on a chair and take off all my clothes, jump down and roll around in chocolate and attack people

Attack me first!!!

(But I'll pass on the mudpies ;) )

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

CHOCOLATE!

[hazelhawthorne.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean.

Yesterday I posted my first entry since getting married 5 weeks ago. I have felt so, i don't know, kinda disconected from me. I have this voice in my head telling me that I am somehow supposed to be complete in my family now. I just realized this weekend that that voice even existed and that it has been controling my life since I got back from my honeymoon. But I can't let that stupid voice rule my life and keep me isolated from all of the other people in my live who I love and enjoy spending time with. That route leads to insanity and obsesive overeating. Nope. Not going there.

I'm glad to see you back here at ari_o. I've been reading imaginarycircus too, but I did notice a change in the way that you posted and I like the idea of you being uninhibited again.

*prepares vat of melted chocolate*

*hugs*

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

Complete. Eh, yeah. *sigh*

It takes a while, or at least for me as it has been 9 months!

Congratulations!

[piperki.livejournal.com]

Dear me no, what kind of voice is that? You're not supposed to be complete...you just have more dishes to do now. Trust me, I've been married 14 years next week, I know. *pats* I think you get to complete when you're like 85. I'm sure as hell not there yet.

[imaginary-pets.livejournal.com]

you got birds?

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

No, my flist are my birds! :D

[piperki.livejournal.com]

Do you have that song "I Like Birds"? I could send it to you.

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

I don't think so. I have no idea what you are talking about!

[piperki.livejournal.com]

It took me about three or four years to get used to being married. I'm serious.

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

I believe you. I am sure my acceptance is not complete yet.

I was staring at David yesterday when he was talking and all I could think was, "Holy crap. I am spending the rest of my life with you! PANIC!" And he was being his usual lovely self and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

[piperki.livejournal.com]

It was harder to get used to being a married person when I wasn't WITH him, if that makes any sense. Like when I was at school, or walking around shopping.

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

That does make sense. I will go to do something simple and ordinary and realize that I am married and be off balance for a moment.

[piperki.livejournal.com]

It did eventually go away, and one day I sat up and thought, "Must have baby now." I'm just warning you, in case this happens to you, because the following year I HAD ONE.

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

Too late! My hormones have been impelling me there, now that they are working right. But I can't do it right now or even a year from now. Maybe 2?

[mimulus-arbutus.livejournal.com]

cheep cheep. mudpies are fun.
i am in full support of you having two journals, there can never be enough ari to go around!

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

I think I just blushed!

[siriologist.livejournal.com]

Hello again .... how the hell are you? I've missed hearing about you ... I guess I need to friend that other LJ ... duh ... missed that announcement, somehow. Nice to see you again... :)

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

Hi you!! I am OK. It has been a crazy year. And I just had an enormous kidney stone and surgery. I'm hanging in there and at the moment am covered with finger paint.

[praetorianguard.livejournal.com]

I think it's an awfully good thing that you have a place you can go where you feel free to write whatever you want. *twirls you*

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

The children twirled and danced all morning and now I am covered with red finger paint! That is my morning.

Did you figure out your firewall?