state of me

[ari_o]

OK, so I've gone from numb and overwhelmed to seriously pissed off. And my husband is being an asshat. I just tried to explain to him why I was so upset and he cut me off and told me to calm down and not get upset. That sent me off into outer orbit. Because

a) I am already extremely upset and I needed to express it.
b) I do not need my feelings invalidated thank you. I am tired of feeling like it is not OK for me to be angry. My father does this to me too. And I am sick of it. I'm sorry if you are threatened by angry women. Now get out of my way.
c) AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Recap of why I am so upset.

1. Period from hell started Tuesday
1a. My ankles are swollen like small watermelons. They hurt.
1b. Cramps
2. I fell and ripped all the skin of my knee on Tuesday. It still hurts.
3. The wank.

ETA: Husband provided me with chocolate ice cream and stawberries and I am much happier with him now. Nice David!

Comments

[snapetoy.livejournal.com]

These are all excellent reasons for chocolate. Mind you, I don't know that there's enough chocolate in the world to cover a really bad period. I can offer you a packet of HP BandAids for the knee, and a huge amount of sympathy for the wank, though.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Chocolate is good for dementors, you know ....

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

The knee would is almost three inches across. I have to use huge bandaids which don't come with HP on them. :(

The husband got me some chocolate ice cream with fresh strawberries. He gets an upgrade to not an asshat. :)

[mmichelle.livejournal.com]

You are understandably upset. My only advice is to attempt not to kill the hubby, and vent all you want. ♥

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

I explained to him and then he went out and got me chocolate ice cream. He is back to being in my good graces.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Hang in there, honey. You'll get through it.

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

Chocolate ice cream solves most problems.

[hezzabeth.livejournal.com]

Oh you have every right to be pissed off.
I'm not even involved at all and I'm rather pissed off by the sheer insanity of this situation.

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that other people are being affected by this too. I don't think I'd be nearly as upset if it weren't so public and so widespread. Excepting of course being betrayed by two friends in one week... Actually no. I'd be this pissed off no matter what.

[cleverthylacine]

For all that the things that Dionne did suck? Some of the people who are ranting about it a lot suck just as much and a lot of them need to admit that they all were perfectly pleased to make s'mores over the flaming corpse of GT and that maybe not everything that seems to be "fucking funny" actually is. JMO, of course, but you believed what people you trusted told you, and it doesn't make you a bad person.

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

I've seen a whole lot of "oh crap" and many apologies from people who were smug about GT going up in flames. I was certainly amused by what I thought was their self-destruction at the time--but I had a lot of misinformation at the time too. And apparently also a raging case of assholery.

I've felt dumb and guilty but not like any of this made me a bad person.

[scarah2.livejournal.com]

Dude, I'd be hella aggro!

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

Let the anger out before it festers! Arr!

*hugs* Once you're feeling less RAWR, warm brownies and cold milk can do wonders for the rest of it.

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

I echo the need for chocolate, and also your favorite Merchant Ivory and/or Jane Austen film. Make it one that you can cry wholeheartedly over, and then feel better about at the end. While eating lots of chocolate and/or ice cream.

And *hug* x 1,000,000,000.

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

The husband provided me with chocolate haagen daaz and fresh strawberries and so he is redeemed. Also House is on soon. :)

[bloodybrilliant.livejournal.com]

♥!!!! You have a right to be upset! :x I send you good thoughts, chocolates, and mojitos! I hope things get better soon!

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

I think I will have the mojitos now and save the chocolates for later because unless I was really wasted I don't think lime/mint/chocolate will make my tummy happy.

[bloodybrilliant.livejournal.com]

mmmmm!!! Yes. You have a point! They are yours to do with as you wish! :) And mojitosssss...I may have one as well! They are always good! And sad tummys are the pits. :(

[natwwal.livejournal.com]

*goes to do the dishes to help make up for being an asshat*

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

Awwww. you're the best. *squash*

[laurac0re.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I really hope you're feeling better soon.

[http://users.livejournal.com/anam_cara_/]

ah, men... that is all too typical, and how can they not understand it's just going to send one *clear* over the edge, is beyond me. At least David learns from his mistakes fast!!

I finally broke down and read exactly what is all going on last night. From an outsider, let me say that how people chose to react with the news says a lot about their character, I think you and praetorianguard have been quite admirable in face of it all. Also, again from the outside, I was surprised at just how much of the events in LJ land that I *was* aware of at the time- I remember briefly hearing about the nutty Christians and the person losing their job, etc. This really had wide reaching reprecussions.

Enjoy your ice cream and strawberries... and even your husband... throw things and yell if you need to.

An excerpt from one of my favorite poems (on my profile as well):

Eurydice, by H.D.

VI

Against the black
I have more fervour
than you in all the splendour of that place,
against the blackness
and the stark grey
I have more light;

and the flowers,
if I should tell you,
you would turn from your own fit paths
toward hell,
turn again and glance back
and I would sink into a place even more terrible than this.

VII

At least I have the flowers of myself,
and my thoughts, no god
can take that;
I have the fervour of myself for a presence
and my own spirit for light;

and my spirit with its loss
knows this;
though small against the black,
small against the formless rocks,
hell must break before I am lost;

before I am lost,
hell must open like a red rose
for the dead to pass.

[airemay.livejournal.com]

Yea strawberries!! My mom surprised me with some sort of strawberry frozen thing. I haven't tried them yet, but they look yummy!!

[tropes.livejournal.com]

He is a boo, and you are a boo.

And everything will be fine. Soon.

:x

[piperki.livejournal.com]

I wanted strawberries last night. David read my mind! Silly boy, read HER mind, not mine...

Hope today goes better. *squash*

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

So far no. Apparently David doesn't care about me when I upset and he doesn't want to provide me with any emotional support at all.

Wow, this week keeps getting worse. I can't stop crying

[piperki.livejournal.com]

Maybe he just doesn't get this one thing, he's not going to, and you need to depend on us right now? Because sometimes they just don't GET things. That's why a person has girlfriends.

*pats*

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

No, it isnt just this. He just decided he ran out of empathy and sympathy after the kidney stone and now I am on my own. WTF?

For the first time I regret marrying him.

[piperki.livejournal.com]

Well, it probably won't be the last...how about if he gets out of your face for a while and goes out and recharges his batteries?

I'm flying blind here because I never ask mine for that kind of stuff...it doesn't come up. Sorry!

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

I just don't understand. I don't understand how you can't rely on yours emotionally. I don't understand why all of a sudden David is like, "too bad"

But I don't have anyone else around here and this is a little more than talking to people on the internet upset.

[piperki.livejournal.com]

I do rely on him, but it's just complicated. When I'm having a super rotten day I usually call one of my girlfriends and rant about it. I'm having a lot of work drama and angst right now and I've pretty much depended on two friends to advise and prop me up. He does know stuff is going on, and I know he is there for me, but we do not have a lot of direct conversations about the direct sources of my problems.

But you and I are not the same! What I want from him is different from what you're asking David for.

[cosmorific.livejournal.com]

What's so terrifying about an angry woman, anyway? I've never been able to figure that one out.

[ari-o.livejournal.com]

They are hard to control? I have no fucking clue.

[cosmorific.livejournal.com]

*rolleyes* Well, if they thought I was easy to control in the first place, they were greatly misinformed.

[the-bumper-car.livejournal.com]

Got here via bad_penny.

I admire you for your principles, even though you got shanked in the back in it. Hope you get better.

Was it Oscar Wilde who said "True friends stab you in the front?"