ari_o: (Default)
[ profile] _lore has a love meme. go to page 8 and add love to the names I left there and any others you see that you want to love on.
ari_o: (Default)
David apologized. We talked and things are better. I feel... I have no idea. I need a week somewhere beautiful and peaceful with massages and cocktails and blue green water.

Thnak you so much for all the well wishes and support. It really helps me not feel like the biggest loser ever.
ari_o: (Default)
OK, so I've gone from numb and overwhelmed to seriously pissed off. And my husband is being an asshat. I just tried to explain to him why I was so upset and he cut me off and told me to calm down and not get upset. That sent me off into outer orbit. Because

a) I am already extremely upset and I needed to express it.
b) I do not need my feelings invalidated thank you. I am tired of feeling like it is not OK for me to be angry. My father does this to me too. And I am sick of it. I'm sorry if you are threatened by angry women. Now get out of my way.

Recap of why I am so upset.

1. Period from hell started Tuesday
1a. My ankles are swollen like small watermelons. They hurt.
1b. Cramps
2. I fell and ripped all the skin of my knee on Tuesday. It still hurts.
3. The wank.

ETA: Husband provided me with chocolate ice cream and stawberries and I am much happier with him now. Nice David!


Jun. 23rd, 2006 08:38 am
ari_o: (Default)
If you are angry or upset by events this week in the fandom... don't just be upset. Do something positive.

Make a donation or at least send well wishes to 4christina[dot]org

I understand that Christina is bed ridden at this point and I think her family needs all the love, help, and good vibes they can get.

Let at least one good thing come out of this horror. Plus this will add some good karma to this whole mess. And we all could use that I think.
ari_o: (Default)
You know I am glad I know who are NOT my friends now. It makes life much easier.

I never ever said I saw a police report on [ profile] fermatojam NEVER. The quoted text. Yes. I said that. I was lied to. Was I wrong there. Yes. Is it all my fault. No Fucking Way in Ten Thousand Hells.

Apparently it wasn't the only fucking place I was wrong.

You know I've stood by people in this fandom because I thought I could trust them. I thought they were my friends. And they shit on me.

So I'm done. Don't you dare email me or contact me in any way shape or form if you blame me for this mess. No really. Don't you dare.

I kept my original pre-enlightment post with a lovely strike through it because although I've been misled, lied to and occasion occasionally a first class bitch I DON"T FUCKING LIE TO PEOPLE OR ABOUT THEM. And I take responsibility when I shit the bed. I don't smear shit on someone nearby and point at them.

Read more... )
ari_o: (Default)
I am thinking about posting in this dusty journal again. I sort of miss it. I feel uninhibited here. I could jump on a chair and take off all my clothes, jump down and roll around in chocolate and attack people. In the other journal? Not so much. My mother in law reads it sometimes.

Here, it is just me and some little birds. I can swear. I can vent. I can make mudpies and eat them. Over there? I don't know who I am?!

This is all a larger part of finding myself as a married woman. Who am I? Not exactly sure. I read that it is common for women to be a little lost, or feel a little lost during the start of their marriages. Because you aren't just you anymore. You are you and you are us.

I love my husband. I love being married. But I have moments of, "How did I get here?" and "Who am I?" and also "OMG! Eeek! I'm married." It doesn't last. I think it is part of the process of mourning my single self and the person I was before last August.

So anyway, on another topic. A time wasting topic.

[ profile] steelcage_match needs you! Opponents (be they animal, mineral, or vegetable) pitted against each other in a steel cage! VOTE! VOTE!

I should be writing my thesis now and what an I doing? Pitting pointillism against cubism and watching the Food Network. Novel shmovel.
ari_o: (Default)
Look. I have had to have this discussion before and I welcome any questions or a dialog.

I post regularly on Fandom Wank. I started my JF account and started posting there when I was directly involved in a wank and needed to explain that the facts were wrong because my actions were being called into question. It was that old No Pictures at Nimbus 2003 wank. I was in charge of security and I was the one who made that announcement. Etc. Once my side of the story was explained the wank was actually pulled. I think...

But then I found some funny people over there and some funny wanks and I stayed there. Much like [ profile] narcissam and [ profile] figgy.

Anywho. I will never say anything at FW about anyone that I would not say to his or her face. If I am upset with you or angry with you and I know you--I will tell you directly. If I say something over there that you don't like, I'm sorry. But even though there are lots of people I love around here, I do not necessarily love all of their friends, fics, or things that they said. Just like sometimes your mother made you a dinner you just didn't like when you were a kid. It doesn't mean you don't love your mom, just the meal.

No matter what I say please do not lump me in with the popular opinions there. I learned a long time ago that trying to defend certain HP people over at FW is like trying to hold water in my hands, and water full of stinging jellyfish at that.

I keep my mouth shut unless I see that someone is blatantly making shit up or has their facts very wrong. I do not debate with them. There is no point.

Reading over the most recent FAP related wank I see that my comments can be taken in more than one way. There is nothing I can do about that now. I don't think I owe anyone an apology for what I said--but I never like to upset friends. So I am sorry about that.
ari_o: (Default)
[ profile] copperbadge asked for Snape/Tonks

I got a bit carried away and here is the first part. It takes place after the events in Half Blood Prince. There is no foul language, very little violence, and no smut. But it is still a bit on the dar side.

Part I )
ari_o: (Default)
I've started writing fic again under a new name.

Title: Innocence and Experience
Rating: R (slash)
Summary: While keeping watch over Privet Drive one summer's night, Remus Lupin spies on Harry in his bedroom and gets an eyeful. Post-OotP.

I would LOVE feedback. And also I may need a beta for a novella length H/D fic. Anyone?

*scurries back into broom cupboard*
ari_o: (Default)
I'm in a weird netherworld. Half living out of boxes. We do have milk in the fridge but nothing else. (I refuse to count the squashy cucumber David will not throw away for some mysterious reason.)

So I am moving over to [ profile] imaginarycircus more or less now. I want to cling here but I need to move on.
ari_o: (Default)
I am drowning. So frickin tired. Sarah Lawrence is very hilly. It is very hot and humid. Not having David here is making me weird. He is also very tired and not being his most supportive, but I can't fault him for that. Poor guy is exhausted and changing around his entire life just to be with me.

[ profile] firebreeze probably knows about this, but you actually have to go write your name on a piece of paper posted outside a Professor's office if you want to take her class. If you are a graduate student trying to take an elective that means you have to do what all the undergrads are doing. I feel like an interloper.

I am excited about the potential electives I may be taking: Discrete Mathematics, Philosophy, etc. I think it may be a little unusual for an MFA candidate to want to take math as an elective. I really don't care though. I grabbed my workshop professor to chat about electives and she got excited and rec's many novels for me to read! yay! I just checked Madeline is Sleeping by Sarah Bynum out and also Dictionary of the Khazars by Milorad Pavic. (Which I am particularly excited about because I love Hrabal and I wonder if he similar and if what I love is the Czech flavor of writing.)

Am so tired. Need a job. Am terrified about money. eeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I spoke to someone today about one. I may have to look into tutoring or something too.

I realized I can throw a rock into NYC from our apartment. hee. I live in Yonkers, but then I hear it is the new Brooklyn. Who decides these things? Silly people.

me again

Aug. 30th, 2005 01:19 pm
ari_o: (Default)
We were moving boxes until very late last night. We had awesome movers come and carry the heavy and bulky stuff up the 4.5 flights of stairs. Then we humped the rest of it up with the help of our landlord and his kids. They are the nciest people ever. We gave up on the books and David was going to put them in storage this morning. I hope he did. I have this irrational fear that he just left them on the side of the highway or something. 20 boxes of books is just too much to deal with right now. I think we plan to bring them home insmall batches on weekends. I miss them.

I woke up late this morning because I don't know where my alarm clock is. I don't know where our towels are. And David took the toothpaste back to Cambride with him. He has to work up there most of this month. I also gave all my cash to the movers as a tip last night. I missed the bus this morning and decided to walk instead of finding an ATM and calling a taxi. I missed most of the morning info sessions on craft classes. But I think I know which ones I'd prefer to sign up for anyway. I arrived on campus sweaty and sore, with lovely inner thigh chaffing because I walked in a dress and the humidity is 100%-it is sort of drizzling out but not really raining.

I need to go wander around now and see if I can set up interviews with professors about electives. I'm looking to take Greek or Math. I don't know if that is insane or not.

I had enough change to get chocolate doughnuts out of a vending machine, but I think I probably need to eat something more. I feel bizarre.

So I'm alone and without towels or toothpaste in a sea of boxes. Well, actually I'm at school in the library. I'm afraid to chat with any of my fellow students because I feel so freaked out and overtired right now. Plus I can't remember anyone's name. And everyone looks like an undergrad. Theya re so cute. Wandering around in tutus and crazy little outfits.
ari_o: (explodingdog hearts)
so, um, I've been married for 48 hours. And I have zero complaints. I still love David to pieces. He keeps banging his wedding ring against mine and saying, "Wonder Twin Powers activate! Form of a married couple." And I giggle everytime, because we are dorks.

I don't have any photos yet, but I shall. Ceremony was wonderful. I could not stop laughing and bouncing. Other people cried. I giggled. I'd even worn waterproof mascara in case I cried. (which I bought at the Sephora in Copley. I told the woman who sold it to me that I was afraid I'd look like Tammy Faye Baker if I didn't get waterproof mascara and then wept at my own wedding. She proceeded to tell me about the time Tammy Faye came into that Sephora and bought an assload of makeup.) But, nope. Not a tear did I shed, though I may have knocked my laugh lines further along on the road to being wrinkles!

We're on vacation this week in PTown, which is full of hawt gay men. hee!

I'm reading Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries in bed and eating salad.

We spent most of today at a fancy schmancy spa and had massages and mineral soaks and all sorts of cucumbers to place on our eyes. It was a very beige and tranquil spa. We'd never have done it if it hadn't been a gift. yay!
ari_o: (Default)
I am freaking out so badly that I was unable to do anything else last night but pick up HP/PS and read. (I packed all my books but Anna Karenina and my HP books, WTF?) David was packing like crazy but I took my sinus headache to bed and read until I passed out.

But something occured to me. At the starts of Book I McGonagall is sitting on the wall outside the Dursley's all day on a Tuesday in October. Does that means Hogwarts is closed? Is it ever stated that is was? Cause now it makes sense that McGonagall always thinks the school might close when Voldie gets active. huh.

Anyway reading about mr.alive Dumbledore was nice last night.

Wedding is one week from today. yes. Moving is two weeks from today.

I'm going to get my haircut now and pretend that this is all reasonable and I am not freaking the fuck out and that we actually have enough money to pay for everything.
ari_o: (Default)
We just leased an apartment in Yonkers, and apparently Yonkers is the new Brooklyn. I wonder how people in Brooklyn feel about that. O_o

Also I just bought milk that expires after my wedding. HOLY CARP! (imagine a fish with nasty teeth and a halo.)

I'd like to say something more but my brain is reeling.
ari_o: (Default)
Today is my last day of work here ever! 5.5 years. The reign of terror ends today!

[ profile] piperki do not read the next sentence.

I had mini surgery on my toe yesterday to remove the entire side of my toenail all the way down into the nailbed. He used three diffent kinds of novacaine and a scalpel. It was fascinating. My toe looks like a cartoon toe that has been hit with a hammer and is now swollen to 20 times normal size. But that is mainly gauze. I took a photo last night. It amuses me so. I keep wanting to call it Popeye.

David got a job in NY yesterday so we will not starve to death and will be able to pay rent. yay! I won't get a job until September, when school starts.

I bought 14 square feet of fake grass on eBay to make a cake stand. Yes, I am totally freakin nuts. I am going to build grass covered tiers (I even contemplated using sod) nad put flower covered cupcakes all over it and then giant paper flowers all over. I am so excited about it. I really wanted a huge ass fancy wedding cake with amazing docration on it but I just could not bring myself to spend that much money on a cake, even for my wedding. So I have devised a way to make it fun, unique, garden themed, and cheap! Go brain! It makes me feel better about having been diagnosed with ADD yesterday.

Yes, I had mini surgery and was diagnosed with ADD yesterday. Apparenlty there is almost no hyperactive component, I have the hyperfocus instead. This will be a new fun project for me to work on once I get settled in at school.


Days of Work left: 0
Days until wedding: 22
Days until school starts: 31

How are all of you?
ari_o: (swiss)
fandom is a big colorful playground
some people play carefully confined
never breaking rules, never playing
new games or exploring behind the walls
I feel sad for them, but if they are
happy and content I shouldn't presume.
When they accuse other people of
being delusional I wonder if they
realize how limited their own vision is?

Other people climb to the top of the
jungle gym just to see another view
to see what cannot be seen when
standing on the ground. And a few
brave souls climb up into the tops
of trees and hang upside down
just for a new perspective
on an old problem

It is impossible to be delusional
when there is neither right nor wrong
and the answers are only limited by
how high your imagination can climb.

Forget jungle gyms, and trees
turn your thoughts into photons
and bounce them off the cosmos
for inspiration. And if someone
calls you delusional, pity his
lack of vision and go back
to your game.
ari_o: (Default)
Why do I have a burning urge to dive back into fandom and write fic? Why now? It couldn't be the new canon, could it? No. (I wrote a drabble. see end of post.)

I have 6.5 days of work left at this horrid job. After 5.5 years I shall be free! I will make a post that says "ari is freeeeeeeeeeee" next week.

30 days until the wedding. So much to do.
39 days until registration for school and being a New Yorker and um, moving to NY.

I have been crying a lot for no damn reason. My stomach is a mess. My big toe nail keeps ingrowing on the port side. David is worried his mother is joining a cult. 30 days before our wedding. I am so startled by all that I have no reaction except a giant gaping WHAT THE FUCK?

It is too hot here.
I have dandruff.

I broke out into hives the other day and now have crusty bits. I will be a beautiful bride. *sigh* I feel very torn about being a b-r-i-d-e. What a weird thing for me to do.

My house looks like Hurricane Emily visited it and left several food processors behind. We now have two waffle irons, three cuisinarts, and a partridge in a pear tree.

I adore [ profile] eliasheldon, [ profile] irinaauthor, and [ profile] dancingrain. They let me intereject total nonsequitor blather into our HBP discussion. I will miss them all terribly in 40 days, when I will live in fucking new york again, where I have no friends! (yet) (well, actually that isn't entirely true)

um, so... here I will make a fool of myself and write a little blurby drabble. and the pairing is one I have avoided on pain of sharp things shoved rapidly into my naked eyeballs repeatedly. Should be unrated and possibly disturbing--but not in the way you might expect from me.

contains spoilers for HBP
mild R/Hr
Ink & Wool )
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